I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
