Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
