i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
vagina is talking i cant
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
