A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
