hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
