We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
