apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
