every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
