My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I faked an abortion last night.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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