problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
