Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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