with your own penis?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
