u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
