lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
