New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
