How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
