i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
