There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
