Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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