i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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