I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
