okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Four minutes until I can fart!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
