Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
