Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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