Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
