I heard we made out
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
