I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
