i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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