is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
