you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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