Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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