I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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