i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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