just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
