I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i drank out of a bidet.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Randomize
