I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
