ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
