I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
