I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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