omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
