There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Randomize
