dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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