Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
