you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
