i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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