what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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