Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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