Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
