You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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