I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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